One of the stupidest things I heard from someone who I thought was my friend was, “We all wish we could have a do-over, don’t we Debbie.” “We all wish we could have a second chance.”
What did she mean by that?
When she said this to me, I was going through the most difficult time of my life. It was a time when a friend should have been there for me. It was a time when our daughter decided we were not ‘worthy’ enough to have any kind of contact with, ever again.
This so-called friend told me that she never knew about any of my struggles, even after the email. Yet, she knew my daughter was pregnant that year. We did not. She knew and talked behind our backs to my daughter and her new ‘family’. I knew she was stirring up dissension among us. I was so upset that day when our daughter and her husband told us never to see them again. There was that time when our daughter dumped us for good, the date I will always remember, Dec. 27, 2012. It was like a death took place.
“Of course she is going to choose her husband over her parents, Debbie,” she tells me at lunch that day two years ago.
“Why, who is telling her she has to choose?” “We never had any problem with her husband.” “We were so happy for her.” “All we ever wanted was for her to be happy.”
I believe they did this because I said I chose my son over her actions that Thanksgiving. Threatening 911 over this friends husband who started a fight (no fists, just arguing) with our son.
Now, more and more, I believe that this woman also influenced my daughter to treat us like poop. For there had been many occasions where this woman would put (me and) my husband down, so much so, that she said to me, “I don’t even know why you are with him, Debbie.” Trying to put negative thoughts in my mind about my own husband. Saying things that were cruel and mean… all in jest.
Second chances… what ever happened to forgiveness, seventy times seven. Oh, that’s right you have to know God to know how to forgive someone.
I have no regrets at all for my life. I have no regrets for making babies and loving them and caring for them the best I knew how. I have no regrets meeting all who ever entered my life. No Regrets. I know I have lived my life and loved those around me to the best of my ability. Even with all its ups and downs. Even with all my imperfections. Even with all the sin that abounds anywhere and everywhere. I have no regrets because I was never purposely mean and cruel to any of those who God placed in my life. That includes the words written in my blog. No regrets. For this blog would have never been born if it wasn’t for their actions and the need for me to try to come to grips with that which was foisted on me for no reason. And, I have no regrets because, I would have never seen and known who truly are my friends.
Still wondering what we did to deserve never to be seen again? I know my daughter will say it is because I called her husband a wimp that summer. The summer when we were trying to reconcile and they wanted nothing to do with it. Oh, but, it was okay for her and him to call my husband a wife beater. Even my so-called friend said to my face that day at lunch that he is not and she would never see him that way.
Do you people even know the true God? Do you not understand the world that is to come? Do you not care where your soul is going to wind up?
Maybe they all have the same mentality as my daughter’s new mother-in-law.
“I wish my daughter would reconcile with her father and I,” I had said to my daughter’s new mother-in-law, while at the winery, “For we are older now and we do not have very many years left.”
Her response, “Well, if you die then you can just say you won then, now can’t you.”
This is not about winning or losing, jerks.
Thank God for second chances, and third, and fourth, and seventy times seven.